Four models of inappropriate behavior in men after divorce

Divorce is rightfully considered one of the most severe stresses a person can experience. Overcoming it is equally difficult for both women and the stronger sex.But it is believed that men experience this event less and easily return to bachelorhood. And ladies quite often experience the grief of parting with tears in their eyes, in the company of compassionate girlfriends and in prolonged depression. Is this true?

Five stages of grief

To begin with, it is necessary to state that a man experiences all stages of grief in his own way.

The first stage is rabies

Anger at the other half, at fate-injustice and the villain towards him. This feeling is especially often noted among those who have not yet found a few and remain lonely. Internal anger accumulates in and can explode in an unexpected place, in relationships with relatives, co-workers at work, or unfamiliar people.

Stage two – denial

Despite the fact that the man only dreamed of freedom while being married, at first he is not able to believe that this really happened.

The third stage – getting into reality

Here and now, representatives of the stronger sex are finally comprehending the realities of their own situation. From time to time, men begin to experience prolonged depression and almost everything falls out of their hands. In this case, if a man has not yet acquired a new passion or does not have outside hobbies, look for the wind in the field; he may withdraw into himself for a long time. Often he needs the help of a psychotherapist.

Stage four – doubt and awareness

It comes when a little time passes and passions subside. Now there is no contact with the irritating element, the process of realizing mistakes occurs and there is a desire to go back and fix everything. But this stage is short-lived, and therefore reunification does not occur.

Fifth stage – acceptance

Acceptance and acceptance of what happened. Healing occurs when a man accepts his past and begins a new life. Previous grievances are forgotten, emotions and sensations have already dulled, there is no anger or irritation – neither towards the ex-wife, nor towards the divorce itself.
The order of stages is the same for everyone, but, moving from one to another, men sometimes do stupid things and behave in a rather peculiar way. Let’s look at the prerequisites for inappropriate behavior after the divorce is over.

Patterns of inappropriate behavior

1. Revenge and retribution

The realization and resentment that everything is over forces a man to do everything out of spite and take revenge for the destroyed feelings and life of his ex-wife. Then so that she feels the same pain that he feels. Since often either partner thinks that the other half has already forgotten everything and lives happily, based on this, it is imperative to hurt the culprit of the discord. He can return or take away donated things, not respond to requests (during a divorce, people quite often have unfinished joint affairs), pretend that he has a new passion so that you suffer, tell abominations and lies to your common habitual ones, then so that they consider you specifically to be to blame, watch you on social networks.

In many cases, men themselves do not expect such behavior from themselves and after a while, after the passions have subsided, they may regret that they did not behave like a man. There is absolutely no point in talking to your ex-spouse; any conversation or request may be received with hostility, and an even greater conflict will arise. Keep your distance, choose only a delicate and business-like tone.

2. Loss of interest in life

It’s clear that this is a difficult life situation that leaves an indelible mark on the life of every person. Men with more empathetic character may not leave the house, cry quite often, stop looking after themselves, begin to replace real life with virtual life, quit their job.

3. The need for self-affirmation

The concept and awareness that you are not constrained by marriage ties inspire you and give you a feeling of endless freedom. It is at this time that a man begins to quickly change partners, looking for consolation in them, and to assert himself, since his role in the marriage was wounded. In most cases, nothing comes of such relationships; men only seek satisfaction of needs in order to forget themselves. But the other side does not suspect anything about this and retains hope for a long-term relationship.

4. Eagerness to intimidate

When children are left behind in a divorce, some men can terrorize the other half by taking the child away from the mother and depriving her of maternal rights. This situation is not uncommon, nor is sudden child support restrictions. In this situation, it is fundamentally important to have a sober and cool mind; do not succumb to threats or blackmail. Ignore all threats, do not enter into dialogue and disputes, without entering into conflict with the annoying object. The breakup should be handled with dignity.
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